"We can complain about the difficulties we are in or be grateful to have the opportunity to see if Christ can fill our hearts in any situation. It is a free choice: to recriminate or enjoy the circumstances. It is up to each of us to decide.”
In the hall of the De Vere Wokefield Estate, in the countryside around Reading, West London, there was still a Christmas tree. It was the weekend of the Epiphany, and 400 people came (with one hundred children and fifteen babysitters in tow) to spend three days with Fr. Julián Carrón. They came from Great Britain, Ireland, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Malta and Luxembourg: the frontier of secularized Europe. The majority are Italian expatriates, but now there are many "natives": they have become part of the movement through their husband, wife, or in the midst of the most varied circumstances. Some many years ago, others a few weeks ago.

The theme of the weekend is projected behind Carrón: "I will be with you every day till the end of time”. It is the promise that Jesus makes to the disciples immediately after Easter and, when you think about it, it makes Christmas time vibrate in a special way. "God sent us His son to allow us to recognize the value of our life," said Carrón: "This is the meaning of His tenderness for us: we are not alone with the reduction we make of our desire, we are not alone within the challenges of our days. He is our companionship. It is not a moment in the past, it is an event that happens now. Let us look at the shepherds: they were poor people, like us. But when they participate in that event they return to their lives full of joy."



In Reading, at Friday dinner, the local Bishop, Monsignor Philip Egan, of the Diocese of Portsmouth, comes to visit. After Fr. José Clavería’s departure for Milan, Egan asked for – and obtained - a house of the Fraternity of the missionaries of St. Charles Borromeo, and in September Fr. Luca Speziale and Fr. Raffaele Cossa arrived. It is the beginning of a new adventure. The Bishop had many questions, some of which arose from reading Disarming Beauty: how can a way of using reason other than that flattened on scientism be proposed in public debate? How can the Church be present in new media without renouncing the depth of her message? There are no predefined recipes. What is clear is that everyone is called from their personal encounter with the Christian event.

An intervention by Juliet, from Ramsbury, a small town between London and Bristol, opened the assembly. "I am the mother of three teenagers. The eldest has just left home to go to university. I see my mum and dad getting older. I feel that I will soon lose very precious things: my children, my role as a mother, my parents. I have a sense of darkness and terror and I am afraid to face the day." She said that she has begun to pray, asking Jesus to show himself. The prayer became begging, she said, but the fear did not go away. So she tried to follow her husband and friends of the movement. "I started to look at their happy faces, to listen to their voices. We have begun to read some pages from the Fraternity Exercises at breakfast. After a long time, we have gone back to meet again for School of Community with two friends from the parish. I try to call a friend once a week. These have become the most precious moments. The discomfort, my darkness is always there, but my friends show me that there is also a light in the darkness. It has become a daily dialogue with Jesus that continues throughout the day: «Why are You giving me this fear? Where do You want to take me?» This circumstance has become an opportunity, at least to return to look at Him". Things have begun to change, concluded Juliet, the fear is still there, but "I have the possibility of re-starting again every morning."

It was the weekend of the Epiphany, and 400 people came (with one hundred children and fifteen babysitters in tow) to spend three days with Fr. Julián Carrón. They came from Great Britain, Ireland, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Malta and Luxembourg: the frontier of secularized Europe.

"How have you overcome the fear, then?" asked Carrón. "I began to follow," replied Juliet. "No, something happened before that: you began to look at what the Mystery was doing in your life. We think that if we pray we do not need to use reason. We can pray without using our eyes. No, we cannot. Christianity is the invisible that has made itself visible. So much so that you began to say: «I know that He is close to me». It is not a problem of energy, courage or consistency. But of knowledge. It is an acknowledgement."



Emma, from Leiden, Holland, also spoke: "After a negative medical test, I was surprised to see myself rest in the certainty that I do not lead my own life, that the life we think we can organize and change is not ours. And the first change was the way I look at myself and those around me. In a situation where I feel like I have been stripped of everything, I have experienced that what makes me strong and happy is that Christ is there. What has happened to me is a great grace that helps me see that Christ is at work in my life. It is not being visionary, but beginning to learn to look with His eyes. The days are full of signs: your young child that takes the washing out of the washing machine, or a friend who makes time for you.”

"You see? This is the new culture that brings the Christian event," noted Carrón: "It is a different way of being in reality and one that challenges the dominant mentality. When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, the point is not to complain, but to surprise ourselves by looking at things with His gaze. Do we realize how much time we would save ourselves? It is a new way of using reason. The summit of reason, says Fr. Giussani, is the action of John and Andrew: they were so caught up that their reason was dragged by the encounter with Jesus. We are fortunate to have been chosen to have this experience."



"In the last few months, my wife and I have found new jobs that we like and that guarantee us more stability and well-being,” says Giacomo, from Cambridge: "We are also expecting our third child and because of this situation we can move to a bigger house. And yet, despite the overabundance of these gifts, I often find myself bored and indifferent. When I realize this, I am shocked." Carrón gave the example of the ten healed lepers, only one of whom returned to Jesus: "Being healed is not enough. Receiving the gifts that we desire is not enough to fill our hearts. What counts is not the gift, but who gives it to us. If we do not recognize the infinite nature of our need, we will not be able to recognize what really corresponds to our heart.”

At the end of the assembly, the hotel lobby filled with the uproar of the children. Many of them had their faces painted. Who knows what they were playing.

The afternoon was dedicated to three testimonies. Carrón asked Fr. Michiel, a missionary of St. Charles in Tilburg, Holland, to talk about why among a thousand difficulties, his friends from the CL community decided to open a Catholic school in their city. It opened in October with ten children. "For the joy that the experience of Christianity produces within us. This is what von Balthasar says: «Perhaps it is Christian joy in all its forms that people around me most acutely need me to give them»." Marco, a surgeon in London, recounts how the provocation of the Beginning of the Year Day changed his way of thinking about himself: "In difficult circumstances, I do not have to hide what I am, but I have the opportunity to look at what Christ has generated within me. Did it produce sadness? I have begun to look at this as if He asks me, «Do you love me? »Thus, any situation I have a chance to say, «Yes, you know I love you. »" Even Margaret, from Dublin, talks about how not running away from her own need has helped her in recent times. "Life has turned from a source of fear into an adventure. Day after day, I have tried to accept circumstances as a gift. My need is also a gift. This made me follow the Advent liturgy in a different way: the expectation of the Jewish people and of the prophets is the same that I have. My need for Him.”


"The wound of our humanity is the crack through which Grace can enter", explained Carrón. "The beginning of everything is not an impression, but an event that touches our hearts. Everyday, the cry of a child is challenged by the face of its mother who embraces him."

On Saturday evening, a dramatized reading of two pieces of great nineteenth-century literature: The Great Inquisitor by Dostoevsky, and the meeting between Cardinal Federigo and the Unnamed. The theme is the dramatic gift of freedom (is it always worth being free?) and that of poverty of the heart in the face of mystery («I disgust myself; yet...! I feel a coolness, a joy like never before... »). The verses are alternated with some songs: from Claudio Chieffo to Supertramp, from Riro Maniscalco to Coldplay.

Many of those present live complicated situations: far from their family of origin, in a small CL community, in an increasingly demanding world of work and suffocating rhythms. Is our humanity really the most precious resource we have?



"The wound of our humanity is the crack through which Grace can enter", explained Carrón. "The beginning of everything is not an impression, but an event that touches our hearts. Everyday, the cry of a child is challenged by the face of its mother who embraces him." It is the same for us. This is what overcomes the duality of which we are often prey: the Christian words we say and life that is just like everyone else’s." Instead, recognizing Christ is easy, he explains, because it is the only thing that corresponds to our infinite desire for happiness. "Without reaching Him, we remain upon the surface of things. But once we meet Him, it is like the experience of someone who is in love: everything speaks of their beloved. It is as if all things cry out, «Do you miss me?» Do we miss Christ? This is how He always stays with us."